Wednesday, December 15, 2010

What's Reasonable

Had my 32.5-week appointment today. Emmett sounds good, the doc reiterated that my ultrasound looked good, measuring 2 weeks ahead again, reasonable weight gain (hey, I'll take it). We're only 6.5 weeks away - ok, it feels like an eternity, but I'm trying to tell myself that the time will fly. :) I'm thinking more about what it's going to be like to go through this whole childbirth thing again, and in a familiar yet unfamiliar situation - a c-section that is PLANNED and hopefully, UNeventful.

I've watched episodes of A Baby Story recently where they show planned c-sections and just walk myself through the process. I realize that I forgot little things, like how they make you part with your husband and then bring him back in the room once the surgery is underway. I don't like that part. :( But it was good to see and prepare myself for it. And then there is the moment where the baby is out and they wait for the cry... Cole came practically exploding out the of womb (would you imagine any other way? The boy's personality has been entirely consistent since before birth!). Dean, on the other hand... there was a pause, a dreadfully silent pause. I remember thinking in that instant, "I KNEW something was wrong." But then he cried - not a full, robust cry as his brother had done, but a small, weak cry like an injured lamb. We didn't know what to make of it, but it certainly indicated that something wasn't right. This time, I just want to hear my baby cry. Scream. Just go bananas. It's a sound I won't take for granted this time.

So, when I think ahead, there is so much that I *can't* control, so I wouldn't ask anyone to control those things. But the two things I want:
-no students involved in the surgery - I am usually very open to the teaching hospital model at UVa, but this is just one time that I don't need to be a learning experience. I want a birth that from the standpoint of the hospital staff, is entirely forgettable. :) If that makes any sense...
-and I want my baby right away, as much as possible. Dean was taken away after an initial exam showed he wasn't in good shape and I didn't see him I thin for another 5 hours or so? It was horrible. I just want my baby as soon as I'm sewn up and my arms have feeling in them again.

This doesn't sound like too much to ask, right? Because I can tell myself that it really isn't, although anything above a "normal," healthy birth experience feels like a lot to ask. But it shouldn't be. It's time for something different.

For your enjoyment, here's a picture from today, complete with the usual towel turban. :) I'm getting quite uncomfortable as Mr. Emmett's feet have found a permanent home under my ribs and I'm almost positive he cracked one in the middle of last night (I woke up screaming in pain). Sorry little man, there's not much room in there! I still love you.

1 comment:

molly said...

I hope your c-section is unforgettable. Both in the sense that everything goes smoothly AND nothing crazy happens :)

Also, love the pic. That pretty much sums it up with baby #3 on the way.

Ice the ribs, girl :)