Thursday, December 2, 2010

Me Me Me Me Me Me Me

Just past midnight, Bob and I JUMP out of bed when we hear Cole scream like he's being attacked over the monitor. We go in to find out that Cole puked EVERYWHERE and Dean had a worried look on his face. :/ We cleaned it all up and the boys went back to bed. We stayed home today in case Cole was sick, but of course, the barf was isolated and no other symptoms preceded or followed. I insisted we stay home just in case, so Cole acted like a caged animal all day. (I *am* thankful that it seemed to be nothing).

His behavior brought out something that I've noticed in pieces recently, but more so today when we were home ALL day long. Cole is obsessed with the ME, the MY, the MINE. I know this is developmentally not a surprise, being 3 and all, but I'd love it to stop. Every piece of mail or package, Cole thinks it's for him, and harasses me until I open it (and often, I don't open it in front of him just to make a point). He thinks everyone person coming over is FOR him and is bringing HIM presents. I've had to make as many of Dean's therapy appointments as possible while Cole is at school because otherwise he spends the entire hour trying to get attention. I told him it was Daddy's birthday pretty soon (Bob's birthday is the 13th!) and his first comment was, "Can I have some of his cake?" :(

It goes on, and these are just examples. I know he's just 3, but it's overwhelming. Are we not giving him enough attention? I feel like I can hardly give anyone else attention because I'm always addressing his needs. We're trying to teach him that he is part of the greater whole, but it's hard during a time when he's so concerned about me me me me me. I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Tips? Good books to read? I'll take it. We might have tried it already, but I'll take whatever suggestions.


desertgirl said...

I have been following your blog for a while - love it! My son is just a day older than Cole and boy, am I in the same boat! I asked my son if he wanted to color a picture for his little brother today and he said, "I want to color a picture for ME and hang it in MY room!" I can't wait for 3 to be over! Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy! You are brave - 2 boys and I am done :)

Kevin said...

Ali, You are not doing anything wrong. Cole's behavior is age appropriate and is reinforced at this point by the early socialization that he is going through at school. I think, looking from blog-afar, that this is working out well in that he isn't acting out all the time against Dean. Influenced by the "Scrappy-doo" cartoons of the time, Annie's often repeated quote was "I want to splat the baby."

Ali Foley Shenk said...

Thanks, guys! It's good to know I'm not alone. Uncle K, I can totally picture Annie saying that. lol

Anonymous said...

Yep. Here's a line from a U2 song...."When I was three I thought the world revolved around me, I was wrong" Guess that means they get it eventually. It doesn't just stop though... it kind of evolves. Right now Lucas is all about being first for EVERYTHING (He doesn't know how lucky he is that Alexi is his twin). He even told the daycare teacher that he came out of my belly first. lol However, he already conceded that Alexi was probably always going to be first to the table for meals. :/