Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My Family of Four Turning Five

I think I'm finally letting myself get excited that Emmett is coming... like the night-before-Christmas-so-I-can't-sleep excited. :) I mean, not that I'm sleeping really much at all at this point, but it's a nice feeling to be more excited than anxious!

I spent some time today reflecting on our family of four. How Cole came into the world and completely rocked our notions of what having a baby and being a parent was like. People told us things and I just don't know if ANY of it really sank in until we had him and it was game-time. He was a challenging baby - colic, reflux, had sleep low on the priority list - but he was our world, a great reason to get up each day, no matter how early it was. :) He's a kid who needs and wants structure even when he doesn't know it, and has little routines and activities that make him feel secure in his day. He is talkative and creative and hilarious. He is physical and athletic and always has another activity on the horizon. He is fiery and emotional, neutral about nothing. He is stubborn and persistent and protective of his family. He loves people and loves God, already.

Then we had Dean. Anything we learned from Cole went pretty much right out the window when Dean arrived, perhaps saving how to change a diaper. We had to re-learn everything, because in Prader-Willi Land, the usual signals from babies to cue feeding, interactions, sleeping, and holding are just all out of whack. You as the parent have to override instincts and go by what you know from doctors and other PWS parents and your own research to keep this kid alive and get through all the necessary doctors and appointments. Everything is a fight. And trapped inside this crazy body is a sweet little baby who feels like an old soul gone a thousand times around the earth. We had the feeling (still do :)) that Dean just KNEW so much about life that we would never know. He just gets so much of what's important. And it is virtually impossible NOT to love him. He is sweet and snuggly and has also developed into quite the little goofball. He keeps us on our toes and yet is laid-back and willing to be in the moment. He lives by a schedule not because of his temperament, but to meet his complex needs.

So on Monday (if not sooner, though I doubt it :)), Emmett will join us. We look forward to seeing the dimension he will add to our family. Clearly he's been with us for quite some time, but it will be neat to get to know him out in the world and see how he fits with our silly little family. I find myself often looking around the room to keep tabs on the boys and feeling that there's a child missing. I don't know it, but I'm looking for Emmett. Can't wait to meet him and smoosh him and love him. I know many people say that pregnancy is so special because you're the closest you'll ever be to your child, but I feel that it's such a time of unknowns. I feel closer to them when they're out and about and I can hug and watch them and enjoy them in their environment.

So, bring it on. :)


Trisha said...

Bring it on!! Can't wait to watch Emmett's personality come to life too. Try to sneak in a little sleep.

Unknown said...

I'm so excited for you! Great reflection Ali.

molly said...

Ali, I am SO excited for you. A third boy. Another brother for your boys. What an absolute blessing. I can't wait to "meet" him :)