Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Terrible Twos Get Them All

HERE is today's link to the Betsy Farmer Designs giveaway! Just a little bit of time left since it ends at noon on Friday!

The Terrible Twos... Cole was born basically with the temperament of a two-year-old, so when the tantrums started hardcore at 15 months, we weren't all that surprised. He's never really had an "easy" period, but we love him anyway. :)

Dean started off with different challenges, clearly, but the one blessing was his temperament. Sweet, sweet, sweet. Even now, he's a sweet, smiley little guy. He cries every single time someone leaves. How cute is that? BUT... the behavior I described in my Toddler 'Tude post has just kept ramping up. Dean throws his food. If something doesn't happen quickly enough or when he wants it, he throws a tantrum. (As an aside, these tantrums are actually kind of funny - he puts his legs out and throws his head between his legs, SOBBING... then looks to see if he's getting a reaction and repeats it. :)) He'll take toys from Emmett and kick him in the head if no one's paying attention.

The discipline part is pulling on my heart strings. Thinking about Dean in timeout the other day makes me sad. :/ But he "earned" his timeout and we can't just keep giving him a pass until he's 2, or 3, or 4, or beyond. I see now why some people don't discipline their kids with special needs (and PLEASE understand that by that I do not at all mean that any behavioral issues are a direct cause of that!!). I feel badly that Dean is dealing with enough stuff and I don't want to heap discipline on top of that. But just as for any other kid, discipline isn't just to be "mean" to the kid. It's to *teach* him proper behavior, and we certainly need to do that just as we do with Cole and Emmett (not yet for Emmett :)). It would be so easy to let it go.

His speech delay also complicates discipline. I know that if nothing else, Dean knows how to respond, "Yeah" to a yes or no question. If the answer is "no," he just won't answer. But speech is still really difficult for him and so I can't always say 100% whether it's his attitude or difficulty communicating. In each instance, I try to make a judgment about which it is, and I hope I am mostly right!

In the end, we just want to make sure that we don't make excuses for Dean and that when it's appropriate, we *do* treat him just like any of our other kids. This will be a big service to him in the long-run, but it's sometimes stressful in the moment!

1 comment:

Katie said...

Ali, Way to go. You are doing a great job with the children. Wish I had had your wisdom when I was raising my kids. One day, they will thank you and respect you even more. Grandma Katie